if i ask..

why would my life be too complicated?
why would i make my life too miserable and more pathetic each day?

why?

i have no answer to that.
coz i never know what to do.
in order to make my life much more better.

*well i think i know but in some circumstances it make me wonder...and make me feel..i know nothing*

hari hari aku tanyak dirik aku kedirik. apa aku mok polah aritok ooo. what i need to achieve today. and everyday seems...the same..

i did all the things i supposed to do. all. ok la kan. though sometimes...i feel like...i have nothing to prove..

except for finishing everything unsettled.

tolak tepi la cita pasal study. i know what im doing.

aku still study. study la bila ada kuiz kan. esaimen aku polah. fyp idp pun so far okey dah. tunggu masa jak gik. ntahla. mok abis dah. abis tok, apa la jadi ooo. hmmm.

aku slalu padah aku kuat. well, yes i am. it's proven. but still i'm fragile sometimes. perempuan juak aku. masih ada perasaan. hahahaha.

sometimes i'm wondering why this happening to me. sik la slalu. sometimes kan. ko akn tpk2...

knk idup ko mcm tok and bkn mcm ya?

ahahhahaha. sounds mcm sik bsyukur jak nak? sbb yala bnda tok sometimes. bkn slalu. pheww~

aku kdg2 tpk juak...mun idup aku mcm nya, mesti aku akn rasa mcm ya, mcm tok, best gik la kan..tp slalu juak la aku akan sedar terus yg well kita xkan dpt apa yg kita mok. hahahaha. and aku akn sedar yang...aku lain, org lain lain laaa. sik sama. sikda org idup nya sama nak. aku sedar ya. nasib bait la sedar nak. hahahaha.

yala just...kadang kadang. :)

hmmmm.

kenak ooo...aku slalu mcm tok. hmmm. jadi org yang mengalah. selalu bulak org by telling them that i'm okey with that with this it's okey i'm fine no worries i will be okey i can survive you don't have to worry about me *with a huge fake smile on the face*

it's hurt.

it's sad.

:(

well yeah i'm not okey.

for sure.

hmmmm...

*mencari salah diri sendiri and try to fix it*

:)

Assalammualaikum~

it's been awhile.
busy.
always busy.
haha.

ekotkan dapat jak mok update.
malas.

hmmm.

sikit agik. 2bulan plus. sik sangka dah mok abis. takut juak. hmmm.

sik tauk apa jadi pastok.
lamak wo aku kat sitok. haha.
rasa sik sanggup mok tinggalkan terus.

hmmm.

tp mun xda rezeki kat ctok then xpala.

:)

hmmm.

susah mok soh org paham kita bila kita kedirik xberik peluang org ya untuk paham kita. i mean, the trust. susah. makin lamak aku makin susah mok pcayak org. ntahla. i feel insecure. siktaukla. hahahahaha.

have quite a firm conversation with a friend yesterday. cita pasal family jak pun. well, i'm not a big fan of family's conversation so a bit awkward~

kwn aku tok tyk la pasal family aku suma. aku cita la bla bla bla. pasya nya tyk, pahal abg aku stay kat umah. nya kan dah kawen. kenak nya xcarik rumah lain.

and i was like...

frozen. hahahahaha.

siktauk juak mok ckp camne. pahal ba? suma org dah kawen xble tggl ngan parents gik?

hahahaha. camtok sbnrnya. bgi aku. my opinion la nak....

depends...yerp depend...mun tga dgn situasi abg aku, kakak ipar aku ok jak. xtauk laa dlmn nya gine nak. hopefully nya okey la. :)

so jwpn nya sbnrnya adalah depend dgn org. mun aku? mpuan kan ekot laki. so, depend la. mun umah laki aku ya kelak ada bilit k kmkorg, munnnn la nak, laki aku tok tek pun xla stabil ney which is unavoidable nak, so, stay jakla dolok. tp, mun laki aku tok tek dah stabil mampu ada umah dikpun, keta dikpun, diam la umah dikpun. depends la dgn situasi. mun aku nang la aku mok umah dikpun. sapa xmok?

tp, mun dah dlm kes family aku, k pa la abg aku mok carik umah lain bila umah kmkorg ya nang kosong juak? hahahaha. krik krik krik. pusak banyak gik dari manusia. giney ya? sikkan mok tggl nak.

ya la masalahnya.

org xtauk mslh aku. hahahahahha.

xpat juak mok blame nya lah. sorry laa. aku pun xtauk mok kaka gine ngn ko. hahahahhaha.

ok ya jak. byk gik bnda mok cita. tp ntahla. aku rasa mun cita balit klk aku jd emo. hahahahha. suma hal fyp la tok. xpa biar jakla. aku dah lepaskan semua juak malam marek. nyaman la sesapa yang kontek aku tetiba malam tek nak. sapa soh tepon aku tem aku tdo. bgn2 alu emo. nyaman~

k ya jak.

bai bai!!!!

till then~

:)

p/s: i need a plan. seriously~~~

sentap

bila baca tulisan sendiri

"aku yang dulu bukanlah yang sekarang"

like seriously....

i've changed a lot just in few months

hmmmm.

i miss old me. :(

the one with high motivation

still is but slightly lower

what happened?

-.-

bah-aya

Assalammualikum!

im back!

hampir lupa akan kewujudan blog ini
alasan semata

start la aku.
baruk lepas jumpa anis.
dpt peluru cinta and apel.
xsampe sejam dah abis baca.
mood puitis aku dtg balit.

mungkin dah tiba masa aku start dot dot dot ya.
tgkla. polah sikit2. ada masa taip. kan? :)

minggu tok minggu midterm.
tp mcm biasa.
aku mcm tok juak. hahahaha.

LOSER.

hmmmm.

nasib idp postpone.

warghhh.

boleh tdo dgn nyenyak.

*hentak palak tas meja*

aku ada projek baru tok.

heh heh heh.

sot.

kbai!

:)

p/s: rindu puteh~ hmmmm.